I totally understand the frustration about people not following the rules you set forth. I had someone remark "that's so many rules just for a cookie swap!" The same person was also peeved that my rules were on a website.
My biggest complaint this year with regard to "rules", is that in spite of the cookie list being on Evite (and my website) in advance, 3 people insisted on bringing ginger snaps.
Keep in mind that the fewer the number of bakers, the more important it is that people follow the instructions. In other words, if you only have 5-6 bakers and someone brings cake and someone brings store-bought, the 4 people left will feel a bit cheated. Or if 3 people bring the same, it isn't much of a swap.
My 2nd swap was last Sunday (12/11) and was a great success. I had 19 people, with 18 bakers, but one who dropped off cookies in the morning but couldn't stay. (The 19th person is on Jenny Craig and asked if she could come, but not bake, not swap.)
Last year I had 11 people with 10 bakers. (one woman brought her daughter)
My "rules" were set forth ahead of time in early November, on a website (inspired by Robin) and on the few paper invitations I sent. I'm not interested in people showing up with cake or chex mix, as it is after all, a "cookie swap."
A friend's daughter asked in November if she could bring a sweet "trail mix" (kind of hard to count out) and I told her it would be better if she brought cookies because I didn't want the others to think I was giving her special treatment as a new baker. In the end, she made very delicious Urban Legends Cookies.
If you have a friend who doesn't bake, is on a diet, or lives alone and doesn't want or need 6 dozen cookies in her house... here's my opinion:
The first goal is the exchange of cookies, but the 2nd is gathering for the holidays. I wouldn't advertise "come without baking" but if someone calls you up and asks nicely (like my Jenny Craig friend did a week before) "Is it ok if I come and just don't swap? I can bring an appetizer or help you set up.", I say, let her come. Let her do something else. Let her take part in the gift exchange. Let her be in charge of games or help serve drinks for you. If there are a few cookies left on the tasting table and she wants a few, pack them up for her. (My friend stuck to her guns--and diet.)
On the other hand, if someone is
buying cookies (or bringing Chips Ahoy--true story), I'd tell them I'd prefer that they come and
not swap. I went to a business cookie swap the day after my party and it infuriated a lot of people who made the effort at homemade, that some people brought store-bought and had the nerve to put them out on the trading table.
Everyone at my party went to tremendous efforts to bake, wrap and display their cookies. (The table was incredible!) A few people even said, "Wow, I didn't realize it would be so festive -- we're new at this. But now we'll know for next year."
I don't think it's fair for someone to reap the benefits of that when they don't participate at an equal level. Just my 2 cents.
Anyone else have thoughts?
-Susan
