HELP!!! This is weird!!!

[jennifers399]

Ladies HELP!

My exchange is in two weeks and it's going to be a blast, however, I've had two people mention that they don't want to bake or bring anything to the party! WHAT?!?!?!? It is very specifically a COOKIE EXCHANGE. My invitation is very specific and includes what to do if you don't want to bake--like going to a real bakery and buying 6 dozen non-traditional cookies! The point of the exchange is to, well EXCHANGE!!!!!

I don't understand why I always have a few people who want to come but not bake! I should mention that last year, someone who did not bake, went to a grocery store (gasp) and brought one package of sugar cookies! grrgrrgrr

How do I tactfully deal with this??

[Cathie in PA]

Hi Jennifer:

Iam sorry you have had 2 responses like this. The only thing I can say because it sounds as if they have responed yes, is to let them know they will not go home with cookies, they are simply not part of the "exchange." I don't know what your relationship is with these gals, but if it were me, I would not invite them next year. You may also ask the other ladies who have responded what cookie they are bringing, this gives you a good idea of what you will have.

I hope maybe they will realize how they have responed and maybe change their mind.

I wish you a wonderful exchange.
Cathie in PA

[Barb P]

I get people who try to be funny and complain that they just can make that many cookies! I tell them that it is ok if they dont come, it isnt for everyone. Last year, I had one friend who baked the cookies for herself and TWO OTHERS that were coming. That is crazy! I agree with Cathy. If you cant tell those people that the party is only for those who bring their cookies, then that if they dont bake (or buy the cookies from a 'bakery') then they dont get to go home with any. Last year, I did have my mom up from South Carolina at the last minute and she didnt have time to bake cookies when she got here. She just enjoyed the company of everyone, but you wouldnt want to make that an option for everyone.

[bonnieb]

Absolutely I would not invite them back! At the very least tell them it is a cookie exchange party for those that make the effort to bake cookies to exchange or at the very least go to a BAKERY to purchase cookies to exchange.

It really is not fair to those who make the effort to bake the cookies and honor your requests in order to participate. I went to one last year and there was a gal that did not bring cookies to exchange. The hostess didn't care but I thought it was rude of the guest to show up and enjoy all the hard work put in by the hostess (food, decorations, bags, etc.) and not honor her wishes.
This was a cookie exchange NOT just a ladies night.

I have hosted exchanges in the past and I know how much work goes into the preparation, gifts, ect.

If these are really good friends of yours then fine let them come - better than starting a fight. BUT if they aren't then I would call them up and tell them that in the spirit of fairness you would rather they fully participate or not come.

[kimmyb]

I had a somewhat similar situation come up last week. I had a friend who wanted to bring something to the exchange in addition to cookies, as an attendance prize. She said she wanted to bring them instead of cookies but she knew that would be breaking the rules. I just kind of glossed over it and said that was very sweet of her to offer to bring an attendance prize, but I was sure she would be much too busy baking her cookies to worry about that too. I just can't imagine someone flat out saying that they didn't want to bring cookies to a cookie exchange! If that were my friends, I would tell them that I'll miss them at the party and that we'll have to plan another night to get together and catch up. I put a ton of work into my cookie exchange, and I wouldn't want someone there that's not participating. Just my 2 cents, good luck!

[Robin]

I agree with all the responses.